It’s a conspiracy I tell you!

And, it’s all because of Jerry’s last words. On that fantastic finale episode as Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are lead to the holding cell after their sentencing, Jerry says... “Well, it’s only a year.” This is where the Seinfeld Conspiracy begins.

If someone would have said that at the end of Cheers, would there have been a Fraiser? I bet not!

Fans everywhere (And, Greedy Television Network Execs) are holding their breath until Jerry & The Gang come back as the four cynical bastards that represent us all -- At least our bad sides anyway. There’s a piece of them inside us all, admit it. This is why I believe every show that comes from Jerry’s former co-stars is doomed even before it hits the airwaves.

I’ll admit, I never watched even one episode of ‘The Michael Richards Show’. It wasn’t anything personal, I was just really busy right then, and I honestly didn’t think it would get cancelled only a few weeks in. I did hear some bad things about it, but who can believe that stuff? I had wanted to judge for myself, but as quickly as the show had begun, it was gone. I thought that surely the stars of Seinfeld would have enough pull to last 3 seasons no matter how bad - How the hell did Gomer Pyle last so long???

Next came Jason Alexander’s show, ‘Bob Patterson’. The promotion was everywhere, and I vowed to give this show my support no matter what. I heard an uncertain interview with Alexander on Howard Stern’s Morning Radio Show, he was begging listeners to tune in. Stern sounded negative, condemning it before it began, but I tuned it in anyway, and I loved it.

What’s not funny about a dysfunctional motivational speaker? It’s fun to say, fun to write. I watched nearly every episode and enjoyed each better than the last. There was the French photographer whose accent sent Patterson’s prong into a standing ovation, the ex-wife that still mothered him, his sheisty partner, and his couch potato son. It was funny, and I am sure that a season or two in, it would have been great.

Finally, Julia Louis-Dreyfus debuted ‘Ellie’ on NBC, again I tuned in and found the episode I saw quite amusing, and it also showed promise that better was on the way. But alas, again I was fooled by that ever fickle entity known as Network Television, and I never saw that show again.

Now, I’ll be the first one to hope that a new ‘Seinfeld’ appears one day, but this seems at least 10 years down the road (Think Mary Tyler Moore). Why can’t we let ourselves go and just enjoy some new characters and new creations, from 3 proven funny and talented actors such as these?

Must we deny ourselves the suspended belief that they couldn’t be anyone but George, Elaine, and Kramer? I think not. Let’s quit replacing promising shows before even giving them a chance while perpetuating greed vehicles like Friends and Ali McBeal. All the other garbage gets revamped and retooled until it can again be shoved down the throats of unwitting Ritual Viewers, not to mention the garbage dramas that go on and on for seasons searching-for-it’s-audience?

Bring us for what we thirst! Destroy the infidels and send in the clowns - Bob, Ellie, and Mike, or whomever they want to be!

More Ritual Viewing The Buscemi Factor>>>

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